3 MAJOR STAGES IN A RELATIONSHIP

A relationship goes through three basic phases. You may not know it, but that's the case,
albeit there are exceptions to these rules. Some relationships may not follow this route,
nevertheless, most relationships do.
I shall take you through these three phases relationships pass through and what each phase is characterized of.

1. WOW stage

This is also known as the 'love is blind' stage. It's the inception of a relationship where lovers get attracted to each other and fall in love.

You begin to manifest the signs of falling in love:

Thinking of the person often and smiling to yourself

Wanting to know more about the person

You want to hear the person's voice many times in a day, so you can chat and call for hours without being bored

You're consumed by intense emotion and affection

You want to do everything to impress him and make him happy

You talk a lot about the person

The person seems perfect to you and can do no wrong in your eyes

You daydream a lot about him

Now, let me tell you the mistakes we usually make in this stage:

1. You neglect your friends and people that matter to you because you're in love by spending more time with your new love.

2. When your friends or relatives advise you against the relationship because they perceive something fishy, you don't listen to them, because you're blindfolded by love. He's perfect and you can't see what they are seeing.

3. You are likely to pull off your pants and open your legs for him because of the raging hormones bursting throughout your body. Talk about the usual Hollywood lovers.

You see, the moment you give in to sex, you lose control over the relationship, since you're yet to figure out what the man really wants.

He has conquered you and you'll be the one chasing him with calls and visits up and down, especially if he's not serious about you.

Some may even pretend to be serious until they suck the honey out of your life before moving to another challenge.

Withholding sex retains your power over the relationship, because you know if it doesn't work out, you have nothing to lose.

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4. You tend to give too much and you're eager to help because you're in love, especially if the guy is a user. You're quick to fix him.

Some women give their salary, help him with rent, ask him to come and live with them because he has accommodation issues.

Ehhhh, the man will soon see you as 'maga' and use you to fix his financial mess, while you think you're doing it for love.

5. You swallow everything a man says to you and you tend to act irrationally based on what you've been told. You don't question his words logically.

Let me share my experience with you. After I broke up with my ex, new his girlfriend, a lady I knew well o, started 'subbing' me on Facebook, writing all manner of stuff against me, saying I left him blah blah blah... In short, acting on whatever news that one must have fed her.

And I was like, what is this lady's problem? What's your business with your boyfriend's ex? Why fighting for him? If I didn't leave him, will you see him to date? See me see something o.

Her body has come down now. Na love dey worry her that time. Oversabi lover. Nonsense
[6. You're tempted to share your pictures and declare your love on social media because your in love.

That was how my ex's girlfriend started sharing pictures and writing love poems. And I was like, "have you been this starved of a man?" 

Her body don come down now. Everybody can have peace.

Learn to exercise self control and don't be blinded by emotions.

7. You're tempted to share your awful pasts and life history with him.

"I've had sex with ten men."

"I used to be wild."

"My mother used to beat my father."

Blah blah blah

Who asked you?  You suffer from mouth diarrhea while the man is smart enough to conceal his own pasts.

Learn to disclose things at the same pace. Don't jump to 500 metres when he's at 50 metres.

Don't think you can make him pity you and love you with your sorry history.

8. Some people make the mistake of getting married at this stage. Oh my. It's a terrible step to take.

Why?

Because you're still befuddled with emotions. You're not thinking straight. Everything is too rosy. You've not seen his weaknesses. You've not passed your love through the test of reality.

*Don't get married at this stage.*

Don't! I remember telling a friend of mine the same thing when she was in love with a guy. Thank God she didn't marry him, the guy was a big disaster.

Don't be in a rush. Don't make decisions in a rush of hormones.  Exercise some self-control.

9. Depending on the circumstances, some women will start passing the night in the guy's house and some even go as far as cohabiting. *I'm guilty of this even now* make God help me.

Most decisions like this don't do well for the relationship and they end up regretting it.

10. Some ladies also tend to choke a man with love and show him how much they are into him.

They can call twenty times in a day and send messages all day.

Calm down. Don't show how desperate you are. Let the man chase you. 

The duration of this stage varies, depending on the individuals and the prevailing circumstances but it can last between three to six months.

The Reality stage

This stage follows after the love is blind stage and is characterized by the following:

- dwindling of the initial feelings of excitement

-calls and chats may reduce and tendency to take each other for granted may occur.

-weaknesses become apparent and may cause disagreements.  That's when you realize that he's lazy, he talks too much, he's dirty, he's immature etc...  Things you overlooked when you were blindly in love begin to matter.

-quarrels become often unlike in the first stage where you are careful to avoid quarrel.

-lovers start making excuses for not communicating

-you might be distracted by another person and start to think you're no longer in love

-however, in a true relationship, while all these things occur, friendship grows and becomes more strengthened.
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The decision stage.

This is the third stage of the relationship and the fate of the relationship is decided at this stage
There are three basic decisions people tend to make here
1. Break up the relationship

2. Remain in the relationship without making effort to improve on things. When one person gets tired, they'll break up.

3. Decide that you're meant for each other, so you make effort to make the relationship work and it eventually leads to marriage.

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