First and foremost we need to have an in depth enlightenment on what relationship means.First of all relationship is
the state of being connected or related
association by blood or marriage; kinship
the mutual dealings, connections, or feelings that exist between two parties, countries, people, etc: a business relationship
an emotional or sexual affair or liaison
the state of being connected or related
association by blood or marriage; kinship
the mutual dealings, connections, or feelings that exist between two parties, countries, people, etc: a business relationship
an emotional or sexual affair or liaison
Types of relationships
Membership in a social group.
Intimate relationships.
Professional relationships.
Sexual relationship .
Every happy marriage and relationship needs to have good, proper communication. There is no relationship that can survive if couples don’t communicate well with each other.
To overcome lack of communication , you have to understand the reasons that make couples stop communicating with each other.
To overcome lack of communication , you have to understand the reasons that make couples stop communicating with each other.
To learn about the top reasons for
lack of communication in a relationship,
lack of communication in a relationship,
follow the steps below:
1. Being busy with life-
Many couples stop communicating with each other because each one is busy with doing his own things in life whether it is work, hobbies, raising children, activities, among other things. Therefore, many couples find it hard to find time to communicate with each other due to having a busy life and for lack of energy.
2. Lack of love-
When you are no longer in love with your spouse, then you are most likely not to communicate with your spouse. If you find yourself not in love with your partner, ask yourself what are the reasons. Try to find the love that you two once shared.
3. Words vs. actions-
Many couples think that they don’t need to express their love for each other verbally and that only providing for the house, for example, is sufficient. This is couldn’t be further from the truth as you need to learn to communicate your feelings to your spouse constantly. Use the little time to appreciate your partner make them realize how important they are to you
Many couples think that they don’t need to express their love for each other verbally and that only providing for the house, for example, is sufficient. This is couldn’t be further from the truth as you need to learn to communicate your feelings to your spouse constantly. Use the little time to appreciate your partner make them realize how important they are to you
4. Arguments-
Problems and arguments between spouses could affect the communication between each other. Learn to accept each other’s opinions and focus on the similarities that you two share when you argue.
Problems and arguments between spouses could affect the communication between each other. Learn to accept each other’s opinions and focus on the similarities that you two share when you argue.
5. Fear of getting upset-
Many couples stop communicating with each other for fear of upsetting their spouse. For example, the woman might stop talking to her husband about some topic because he got upset in the past when she opened the subject with him.
Many couples stop communicating with each other for fear of upsetting their spouse. For example, the woman might stop talking to her husband about some topic because he got upset in the past when she opened the subject with him.
6. Differences in the beginning of a relationship-
Differences between couples at first when they get married could result in lack of communication. This lack of communication could hurt the couple’s relationship if they don’t start communicating with each other and if they don‘t begin to understand each other better.
Always remember Paul Meyer said, “Communication- the human connection – is the key to personal success.”
Love is like a plant. It needs consistent, careful attention to thrive. Without it, your relationship is destined to wither away.
Differences between couples at first when they get married could result in lack of communication. This lack of communication could hurt the couple’s relationship if they don’t start communicating with each other and if they don‘t begin to understand each other better.
Always remember Paul Meyer said, “Communication- the human connection – is the key to personal success.”
Love is like a plant. It needs consistent, careful attention to thrive. Without it, your relationship is destined to wither away.
Relationship Problem: Communication
All relationship problems stem from poor communication, according to Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of
Blending Families. "You can't communicate while you're checking your BlackBerry, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section," she says.
All relationship problems stem from poor communication, according to Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of
Blending Families. "You can't communicate while you're checking your BlackBerry, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section," she says.
Problem-solving strategies:
Make an actual appointment with each other, Shimberg says. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let voicemail pick up your calls.
If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.
Set up some rules. Try not to interrupt until your partner is through speaking, or ban phrases such as "You always ..." or "You never ...."
Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm. If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way.
Make an actual appointment with each other, Shimberg says. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let voicemail pick up your calls.
If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.
Set up some rules. Try not to interrupt until your partner is through speaking, or ban phrases such as "You always ..." or "You never ...."
Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm. If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way.
Relationship Problem: Sex
Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually. Mary Jo Fay, author of Please Dear, Not Tonight, says a lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having sex is one of the last things you should give up, Fay says. "Sex," she says, "brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy."
Plan, plan, plan. Fay suggests making an appointment, but not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap or a "before-work quickie." Ask friends or family to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. "When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation," Fay says. Changing things up a bit can make sex more fun, too, she says. Why not have sex in the kitchen? Or by the fire? Or standing up in the hallway?
Learn what truly turns you and your partner on by each of you coming up with a personal "Sexy List," suggests California psychotherapist Allison Cohen. Swap the lists and use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on.
If your sexual relationship problems can't be resolved on your own, Fay recommends consulting a qualified sex therapist to help you both address and resolve your issues.
Learn what truly turns you and your partner on by each of you coming up with a personal "Sexy List," suggests California psychotherapist Allison Cohen. Swap the lists and use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on.
If your sexual relationship problems can't be resolved on your own, Fay recommends consulting a qualified sex therapist to help you both address and resolve your issues.
Relationship Problem: Money
Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.
Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.
Problem-solving strategies:
Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is unrealistic.
Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you.
Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other's tendencies.
Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.
Don't blame.
Construct a joint budget that includes savings.
Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.
Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.
Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too.
Talk about caring for your parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs if needed.
Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is unrealistic.
Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you.
Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other's tendencies.
Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.
Don't blame.
Construct a joint budget that includes savings.
Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.
Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.
Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too.
Talk about caring for your parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs if needed.
Relationship Problem: Not Making Your Relationship a Priority
If you want to keep your love life going, making your relationship a focal point should not end when you say "I do." "Relationships lose their luster. So make yours a priority," says Karen Sherman, author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last .
If you want to keep your love life going, making your relationship a focal point should not end when you say "I do." "Relationships lose their luster. So make yours a priority," says Karen Sherman, author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last .
Problem-solving strategies:
Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Show appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.
Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.
Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate..." It lets your partner know that they matter.
Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Show appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.
Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.
Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate..." It lets your partner know that they matter.
Problem-solving strategies:
Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Show appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.
Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.
Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate..." It lets your partner know that they matter.
Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Show appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.
Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.
Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate..." It lets your partner know that they matter.
Relationship Problem: Trust
Trust is a key part of a relationship. Do you see certain things that cause you not to trust your partner? Or do you have unresolved issues that prevent you from trusting others?
Trust is a key part of a relationship. Do you see certain things that cause you not to trust your partner? Or do you have unresolved issues that prevent you from trusting others?
Problem-solving strategies:
You and your partner can develop trust in each other by following these tips, Fay says.
Be consistent.
Be on time.
Do what you say you will do.
Don't lie -- not even little white lies to your partner or to others.
Be fair, even in an argument.
Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your partner is feeling.
Call when you say you will.
Call to say you'll be home late.
Carry your fair share of the workload.
Don't overreact when things go wrong.
Never say things you can't take back.
Don't dig up old wounds.
Respect your partner's boundaries.
Don’t be jealous.
Be a good listener.
Even though there are always going to be problems in a relationship, Sherman says you both can do things to minimize marriage problems, if not avoid them altogether.
First, be realistic. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a Hollywood fantasy. "Ask for what you need directly," she says.
Next, use humor -- learn to let things go and enjoy one another more.
Finally, be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. Don't think that things would be better with someone else. Unless you address problems, the same lack of skills that get in the way now will still be there and still cause problems no matter what relationship you're in.
You and your partner can develop trust in each other by following these tips, Fay says.
Be consistent.
Be on time.
Do what you say you will do.
Don't lie -- not even little white lies to your partner or to others.
Be fair, even in an argument.
Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your partner is feeling.
Call when you say you will.
Call to say you'll be home late.
Carry your fair share of the workload.
Don't overreact when things go wrong.
Never say things you can't take back.
Don't dig up old wounds.
Respect your partner's boundaries.
Don’t be jealous.
Be a good listener.
Even though there are always going to be problems in a relationship, Sherman says you both can do things to minimize marriage problems, if not avoid them altogether.
First, be realistic. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a Hollywood fantasy. "Ask for what you need directly," she says.
Next, use humor -- learn to let things go and enjoy one another more.
Finally, be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. Don't think that things would be better with someone else. Unless you address problems, the same lack of skills that get in the way now will still be there and still cause problems no matter what relationship you're in.
Yes, lack of communication creates distances in a relationship. It can bring a lot of problems and negativity in a relationship which can potentially drive partners far apart.
The three major set backs the lack of intimacy brings in a relationship are-
The three major set backs the lack of intimacy brings in a relationship are-
.Misunderstanding- A very common myth about relationships is that when partners have bonded deeply, they know and understand whatever goes around in each others minds. That really doesn’t happen. It is very important to clearly communicate to your partner what you are feeling, what is going on mind and what you need from them. There is no way they can read your mind. When you don’t communicate these things, your partner is going to assume a lot of things which might not replicate what you really wanted him/her to know. All this gives rise to misunderstandings which eventually leads to conflicts.
1.Unresolved conflicts- A relationship where partners don’t communicate enough, can foster a lot of resentment from unresolved conflicts. Arguments and conflicts are inevitable in all relationships and they pose no threat unless they are left unresolved. When there is dearth of communication in a relationship partners don’t talk enough and problems don’t get resolved which ultimately creates negativity between them.
2..Weakens the emotional bond- When partners don’t communicate enough, they don’t express their feelings. Emotional bond between partners which keeps a relationship together gets damaged when they don’t share their feelings. Lack of communication leaves no room for emotional co-dependency that is generally the core value that a relationship proffers to an individual.
Strategies To Improve Communication
1. Create your own marriage or relationship rules. People don’t always know how to start this process, but they really like this idea! They find it to be eye-opening, beneficial, and helps create a conversation about their relationship.
1. Create your own marriage or relationship rules. People don’t always know how to start this process, but they really like this idea! They find it to be eye-opening, beneficial, and helps create a conversation about their relationship.
2. Before you get into any discussion, determine the emotional mood you are in and then communicate that to the other person. Ask, “Is this a good time to talk?” If not, ask when might be a good time? Schedule a time and then both people need to honor the plan.
3. Forgo technology one night a week. Research has proven that overuse of technology can negatively affect relationships.
4. Request an apology if you think you deserve one. Be the one to extend the olive branch once in awhile.
5. Mind-reading does not work and is futile—though, people keep trying. It’s your responsibility to tell your partner what you want and need. It is not his or hers to figure it out.
6. Take certain trigger words off the table—the D word (divorce), I am leaving/I am out of here—especially in the heat of an argument.
7. If your partner is making an honest attempt to repair the relationship, then try and make a physical connection.
8. Negotiating is not the same as complaining. Negotiating means that you state clearly, without fighting or blaming, how the status quo needs to change, embarking on a new direction.
9. Learn how to self-regulate! By this, I mean, manage your own emotions. You are responsible for yourself, not anyone else.
10. Use your energy to take care of yourself and not to try and manage another person. This does not work and is also just as futile as mind-reading.
11. Have respect. If they ask you to do something, do it.
12. Be kind even when they are not. Again, be the one to extend the olive branch once in awhile.
13. Learn how to not take things personally all the time. I see this often and this prevents a person from taking ownership where it’s needed, and discarding ownership of an issue when it is not warranted. It’s not always about you.
14. Be flexible in your thinking, how you solve a problem, and be open to other alternatives and options. People have a tendency to be close-minded and overly opinionated. These traits get in the way of good communication and thwart progress.
15. Stay on topic by asking, “What is the real issue?” I often see couples who, once a conversation turns heated, throw in the “kitchen sink,” which means all unresolved issues and sensitive spots of the other is fair game.
16. Tone and inflection goes a long way. They really do. Just a change in inflection in one or two words will change the course of the conversation. So does starting a statement with “I” versus “you.” Nothing sends a person into defensiveness mode more than a statement that begins with “you.”
17. Employ the 5:1 ratio. For every negative comment, you should be stating 5 positive comments. ( John Gottman )
18. Add humor! Be a little lighthearted. Humor has a way of diluting and diffusing tension and has immeasurable positive results. Keep in mind that it’s about creating the conversation and encouraging compassion for one another that will steer you away from the confrontation and criticism.
These are just a handful of strategies to improve communication.
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