1. DO NOT SEE YOURSELF AS A “WEAKER SEX”
The daily slogan “weaker sex” has caused enough trouble among the female fold. The truth is that many women are under the bondage of this syndrome, though many have overcome it. God created all men equal (male and female), why acknowledge you are a weaker sex and therefore, you can’t perform or do better? Being a woman should not discourage you from achieving success and greatness. If others can make it, you can make it, because you are better than the best.
2. LEARN HOW TO PACKAGE YOURSELF
Self-packaging is very important especially before the opposite sex. Packaging does not necessarily mean the quality of your clothes, shoes, or even make-up. It is self-composure, maintaining your real value as a woman before the opposite sex and the general public. This will surely attract respect to you.
3. BE MODEST IN DRESSING
Modesty is one of the keys to dignity of the human body. Your physical appearance always has a message to send across about your inner self. It tells the other person especially the opposite sex who you are. It defines you, your character and background. It does not matter how expensive or cheap your dress may be, but what matters is how modest you appear in them and what they tell about you. Do not allow your look to lead the other person to sin.
4. LEARN HOW TO TALK
The choice of choosing words is always necessary in every speech, and knowing what to say and when to say it, is very important.
You can say million words without making a point. Always put your words together and organize your speech. Learn how to argue well. The trick is to never say anything that you wouldn't want to hear said to you. Don’t talk because the other person is talking. Your talking too much can disgust the people around you, and before you notice, people start avoiding you. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren't mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each bitchy comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder. Observe more and talk less.
5. MAKE GOOD FRIENDS AND AVOID BAD COMPANY
Good friends are like butter to bread. They are like salt in a soup. Good friends worth more than silver and gold. They are the best company anyone could have. They are there when the going is good and when it becomes bad. They are the source of your consolation in time of trouble and affliction. The company of a bad friend shares the opposite of all these qualities. “Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. Good friends try to know reasons behind the unusual things you do and encourage you to have a change of taste. The corruption of the best is the worst.
6. MAKE PROPER USE OF YOUR TIME
Being time conscious is a key to success. In everything you do, you should be time conscious irrespective of your age or status.
There is a saying, “time wasted can never be regained”. For instance, the time on your time piece now can never come again in your life. Even the Bible made us to understand that “there is time for everything, time to live and time to die”.
Make proper use of your time.
7. READ GOOD BOOKS
Good books are like hidden treasures and not until you discover them, you keep missing the treasures. You should read as many books as you can to enhance your knowledge. It is not just any book, but good books especially Spiritual and Inspirational books. Ask yourself, “How many books have I read”? I am not talking about compulsory books in school, emotional sms books, but spiritual and inspirational books.
The more books you read, the more you develop your mental ability and upgrade your spiritual life. Read good books to develop your inner self and discover yourself.
8. LEARN TO PLAN
Planning is necessary in the life of every human being. When you fail to plan, you have planned to fail. Lack of good planning has put many homes in hunger and poverty today. Any woman who lacks good planning habit has something to work on, because homes are better managed by women. Money is the number one cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget.
Always plan for the worse condition for it might come, so that when it finally comes it will not take you unawares...to be continued.
Remember, Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth and Life, no one comes to the Father except through Him.
9. AVOID UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH MARRIED MEN
Whatever that is not yours is entirely not yours, there is no short cut to it. Engaging in an unhealthy relationship with a married man exposes you to a great invisible danger. This might seem interesting at the beginning, but believe me you are jeopardizing your future because, you are causing confusion to another woman’s home and your own home will not be left out from God’s wrath. Don’t look for good where excellent is possible.
10. LEARN TO SAY “NO”
You must learn how to say “No”, not yes to everything. The ability to say No or disagree in things that are wrong which others do gives you an edge over them. “No” is a very strong word that should be carefully maintained at all cost when the need arises. Wise people make decision while fools follow public opinion.
11. FORGIVE YOURSELF AND FORGIVE OTHERS
You should always learn to forgive yourself no matter the condition. Don’t condemn yourself because, nobody including yourself can condemn you except God. If He has not condemned you, why condemn yourself? That you have failed several times does not mean you will not make it again. Forgive yourself and move on with life for what is ahead is greater. Don’t dwell in your failure, get up and move on. Learn to forgive others as well. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, then give him - and yourself - a break and start again, with someone else (for singles).
12. LEARN TO SMILE
Smile is one of the highest commodities that cannot be bought. I call it a commodity because it is a quality and a raw material that when in action, it can achieve a lot. A smile is a powerful quality that can heal injuries. It can soften hardened heart. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship - giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile. A smile can give Hope to the receiver. Though it costs nothing to smile, but it could be difficult to smile. Always smile when there is need for it especially when needed by people around you.
13. DON’T BE IN A HURRY FOR LOVE
The fastest ticket to misery is to be in a hurry for love. You cannot rush love because, it is a slow and steady process. Love is natural so, it cannot be rushed. Love grows like a lily flower and when fully grown, it flourishes forever. Love is love. Love does no harm, and it causes no pain. If it is not love, it is lust.
14. AVOID SEXUAL STIMULATION
Sexual stimulation creates appetite for more sexual stimulation. Whatever that will stimulate you sexually, avoid it. It could be drugs, drinks, music, pornographic movies and magazines, negative thoughts and conversations etc. All these are a prescription for sexual compromise.
15. BE AN ASSET
About 95% of young men today do not want to have a liability as wife. It is not all about education. It is all about you and what you want. You can be an asset with or without education. The Bible made us to understand that a woman is man’s helper. Why fold your arms and cross legs at home when you can be useful to your home and society at large? You have a gift in you, discover it and develop it no matter how little. If you cannot be a star in the sky, try and be a lamp in a chamber.
16. DISCOVER YOURSELF
Don’t depend on any human being to discover who you are, depend on yourself and God’s revelation. Self discovery gives you a good knowledge and understanding of who you are and paves way for self improvement.
Your parents may think you are a doctor, but you are a writer. Your Pastor says you are a Lawyer, but you are an evangelist. Self discovery is very important. Many destinies have been delayed as a result of late discovery. Discover yourself now.
17. AVOID PREMARITAL SEX
Your ability to avoid premarital sex gives you a good understanding of marriage, and your good knowledge of the purpose of sex helps you to know that sex is worth waiting for because, premarital sex is not a prerequisite for marriage. If a man cannot wait for the right time (marriage), let him go. Your husband will wait for the right time because, he understands you belong to him and he must follow due process to have you. Anything like meat is not meat.
18. AVOID EXPENSIVE GIFTS
Every expensive gift has an expensive price tag on it. At the moment of offer or reception, this price tag may not be visible, but as things unfold the price tag reveals itself. You must always avoid expensive gifts especially when offered for the purpose of relationship. The bible says, “The gift of man maketh way for him”. Gifts are not bad, but they can break defenses of ‘NO’...to be continued.
Remember, Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth and Life, no one comes to the Father except through Him.
19. DON’T BUY SOMEONE’S AFFECTION
If you force a man on yourself, have it in mind that you will also force him to stay. True affections are never bought. No matter what you sacrifice to buy someone’s affection, you will definitely lose the affection because, it is not natural.
Allow affection to have its normal flow, it will definitely reach you when your turn comes.
20. AVOID RELATIONSHIP COMMITMENTS
Many people are in bondage today because they have committed their lives to one relationship or another. Some people today are living in misery in the name of relationship and because they are so committed to it, they can’t get out of it. You must avoid relationship commitments and big promises because, you are not sure of what happens the next minute. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
21. HAVE A MENTOR
Life without mentorship is like school without a Teacher. A good mentorship begets good success. Be careful in choosing a mentor for no one gives what he has not. Whatever one has is definitely what he or she gives. If you make a prostitute your mentor, you become a prostitute.
22. EDUCATE YOURSELF ON LOVE
There is no school for love and relationship so, you should depend on the Word of God to educate yourself. Nobody can educate you better on love and relationship, the Word of God is your best piece and the Holy Spirit your Teacher.
You should always know that love is not lust and the main objective of love is to follow Christ’s pattern.
23. DON’T BE AN EMOTIONAL DUMPING GROUND
There are men who cannot control their emotional excesses. Such men are not needed around you because, you may not be able to cope with them. There is need for you to avoid them and escape the danger of being an emotional dumping ground.
Don’t make yourself a Facebook page where everyone logs in, and out at their own will. David comes and goes, Paul comes and goes, Peter comes and goes, all in the name of offloading their emotional excesses. Any man that does not have a clear plan for you should be deleted or ignored, you are not an emotional dumping ground. Know when to leave. If your life aims are incompatible, there are heavy drugs or violence around, or if there is consistently more pain than pleasure, then walk before the relationship destroys you. You can’t stop irresponsible people from coming but, you can stop them from settling in your mind.
24. HAVE SENSE OF SACREDNESS
You should always treat the things of God with respect. There is a Latin saying, “sancta sancta trasancta sunt” which simply means, “Holy things are treated holily”. The house of God is a place of prayer, treat it as one. Know that the life of an unborn child is sacred and, therefore it should not be carelessly taken. Beware of abortion!
25. REWRITE YOUR WRONGS
There is need for a change. You can recreate a bad impression people have about you. This is possible, even Paul who was known as a persecutor of Christians changed to an Apostle of Christ. Don't think that going to counseling equals failure. It can turn a bad relationship around. It can turn an average relationship into a brilliant one. Try as much as possible to make-up your bad sides and behaviors.
26. APPRECIATE YOUR PARENTS
No matter how your parents are, poor or rich, always appreciate them. If you lose them, there is no replacement. You may not value what you have until you lose them. Do whatever you can to keep your parents alive and happy. Make them proud!
27. AVOID PROCRASTINATION
Procrastination as always said, is a lazy man’s apology. Don’t put till tomorrow something you could do today because, you are not sure of the next minute. Procrastination has failed many people and many homes today are suffering as a result of procrastination.
Whatever you know you can do now, go ahead and do it and don’t say later. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions. Express your problem and then ask him to help you find the answer. Avoid procrastination for delay could be dangerous.
28. MAKE GOOD USE OF TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS AND INTERNET
What are known today as technological advancements are good in themselves, but have caused a lot of problems in wrong hands. Technological advancements and the Internet have destroyed the lives of many youths today especially the female fold.
These things are there to make life easier for man, but unfortunately it has become an easy way to man’s destruction. Laptops, ipads, phones, social networks (2go, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp etc), are gradually leading our young girls to their early graves. These things are good, make proper use of them. If you don’t stand for something, you will definitely fall for something.
29. REMEMBER YOU HAVE ONLY ONE BODY
The human body is not like Technological advancement that can be repaired or replaced. If you damage your body, there is no replacement. The Bible also made us to understand that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit that dwells in us. This means there is need to respect and handle the body with utmost care. Those who think abortion is an alternative or solution to pregnancy, if you damage your womb, no replacement...to be continued.
Remember, Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth and Life, no one comes to the Father except through Him.
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